Posts Tagged ‘sexuality


In the mood

Why is sex so complicated?  Not the actual act.  That is the smooth part.  ( No pun intended) It’s the buildup to the actual getting down to business that is tricky.  A dance of seduction.  Fragile and full of emotion.  That could go bad at any moment…

I can only guess at what goes on inside the male brain, as I am female.  But for us girls, the complications that could ensue are endless.  Even for the reddest, hottest Red Hot Momma’s among us.  The phone rings. Offspring knock on the door. Worse yet, stand outside and say “I know you are doing something in there!  I can here you moving!”  ( This actually happened with our four year old.  Shudder.)  Someone has a nightmare or the inner radar of children goes off.  The one that makes sure NOTHING happens in the home- unless they are involved. 

Maybe I am just in a bad mood.  ( Another impediment to great sex!) Frankly, I am tired of being bombarded by the images of Super Sexual Woman in every magazine I read and show I watch.  SSW is a lot like a super hero.  She wears a crisp white shirt unbuttoned down to her navel.  Revealing a heaving bosom in a push up bra.  Her tailored jacket and short skirt revealing thigh high stockings and a garter belt.  Black stiletto heels round out her ensemble.  She holds a whip in one hand and a baby in the other.  She is a sexual tigress who can bring home the bacon.  Fry it up in the pan.  Wash the pan.  Bathe and nurture the children.  Then rock her husband’s world.  All without missing a beat, and in less than an hour. Super Sexual Woman has no trouble leaping small buildings or shifting roles on a dime.  She is super.  She is sexual.  ROAR! 

Back in the real world…

How does a Red Hot Momma get there?  Then stay there.

I don’t know. 

I think it requires a good sense of humor.  A sense of camaraderie as in, “We are both in this together.  We will find a way.”  The same kind of commitment it took to enjoy a kiss or more when dating is required while parenting.  Sneaking around tactics still apply, just in a different setting.  A really good imagination and a sense of  adventure.

A stolen moment in the laundry room can be hot.  If you can focus on your husband and not the laundry.  If you can focus on the way it feels to be kissed.  Really kissed, thoroughly.  Passionately.   The naughtiness of it all, kissing instead of working!  The heady feeling of being desired, even though you are standing in a pile of stinking soggy clothes.


Not Tonight, Dear

Let’s face it.  After a day of giving and giving and giving, few of us feel like rocking our husband’s world come bedtime.  There are a million things that need to be done before tomorrow.  Laundry, dishes, overly thirsty toddlers to water, and personal grooming just to name a few. But I am going to risk tons of cranky emails by saying the following.  Of all the things on your “to do” list, your husband is number one.

Oooh, I hear the indignant sighs all the way across cyberspace.  Stay with me sisters!  Sex is not a chore.  I know, I know. We joke around like it is a terrible burden placed upon our shoulders.  We moan and groan, pun intended, about how our husbands always want sex.  We say, indignantly, things like, “So there I was.  Covered in applesauce and baby vomit and here he comes.  Rubbing my back.  I knew what he wanting.  How could he expect me to just kick the dirty clothes off the bed and get with it?” This line of conversation is always met with enthusiastic responses, head nodding, eye rolling, etc.  As though we are far superior to men because we can do without sex until the laundry is done and the kids are dating.   

It’s like somewhere along the way we have gotten our wires crossed about the difference between harassment and a blessing.  A creepy man following you around the supermarket, while making innuendos about the cucumbers, is harassment.  The man you are married to wanting to join his body with yours, despite the applesauce and vomit, is a blessing. 

Before the “Who do you think you are?” messages start posting, I just want to say the following.  Sex is good.  Good for you.  Good for him.  Good for the economy.  (okay, I just threw that in for fun)  I think that being a red hot momma means you can throw caution to the wind and go for it.  Go ahead!  Jump on your husband tonight. Who cares about all of the things that need to be done?  Most of them will just need to be done again tomorrow anyway. You and your husband are the most important things on that list that needs “doing”.


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