Posts Tagged ‘romance in marriage

09
Feb
09

It’s Coming

It’s coming people.  Valentine’s Day.  The most disturbing and disappointing of all holidays.  If you are a super romantic spouse, if you live for Valentine’s Day, if you cannot understand why everyone doesn’t embrace this day as slightly less important than Christmas with the family- you are excused from reading any further. Go, please, spread you good cheer and good will elsewhere! :)

Surprised to hear a Red Hot Momma dissing V-Day?

Let me tell you something.  Valentine’s Day is a great idea, in theory.  Take an official time out of our busy, less than romantic lives to tell others we love them.  Show in deeds, not just words, that we care about each other. Do something that makes our spouses sit down and say “Yes.  There it is! The reason I wanted to get married to this person in the first place!”

The reality is far more grim.  More hard feelings and strife results from this holiday than any other! Especially with in the confines of Holy Matrimony.  Okay, I admit that I don’t have any hard data to back that up.  But I have lots of experiential data that proves this day is a disaster waiting to happen.  And it happens every year! 

Now before I go all Chicken Little on you, I have to say that not every couple is Valentine’s Day impaired.  There are many, many of you out there.  God bless your souls! Because I occasionally hear stories about you all.  Usually just before I flip the channel or change the radio station.  Kidding! 

I am going to go out on a limb and say that most of us are VD Impaired.  Not because we want to be handicapped in this area.  We just are. We have tried.  Disappointed or spouses and ourselves so thoroughly, that we just want to hide under the covers until the day passes.  So, if you have set out to woo your spouse and have failed, miserably, time and time again-  I say loudly to you “Welcome Friend”. 

I am the first to admit that I have held too high expectations for my spouse.  And myself.  I have believed the lie that if we really love one another, we will have a fairy tale day! ( Darn it! ) Pressure! Pressure!  Whisk your spouse off to an exotic island.  Cover the bedroom in rose petals.  Drop thirty five pounds and slither into some bizarre looking lingerie. And on and on….

I have spent many hours pouring over sugary sweet cards that ended up on his dresser, after a quick perusal.  He has brought me candy that I didn’t need, flowers that died almost as soon as they were transported through our front door.  We have waited two hours in frigid temps to dine out because, after all, it’s Valentine’s Day!  

Perhaps Mr. Red Hot’s fear and dread of the day has spread to me.  But before we write off my loathing of the execution of this holiday, I humbly ask how many disaster stories do you personally have? If you don’t have any, just ask around.  “What was your worst Valentine’s Day ever?’  I am going to bet that you will barely get the words out before the cringe worthy answer is blasted back at you. 

A note of sympathy.  I feel extremely sorry for anyone who is single AND “currently looking” on VD.  It is comparable to being forced to wear a scarlet “S” to denote that you, indeed, are un-coupled.  To be single on the most romantic day of the year is simply dreadful by the Hallmark standard.  “Here you go.  Poor thing.  Take your hump and limp up to the bell tower with the rest of the unfortunate souls…”.  The pressure and expectation is just ridiculous.  It is just a day on the calendar.  Not a judgement of character.  I suggest ignoring the hoop la.  Or better yet do something nice for yourself.

Well.  I suppose I will get off my soap box now.  I have work to do and of course, Valentine’s cards to buy. :)




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