While discussing some friends’ marital woes recently, this Red Hot Momma found that there is appears to be a wide gender gap regarding adultery. More specifically, the aftermath. The Mr. and I were out running errands when the marital woes of some acquaintancescame up. They were in the process of a messy split over an affair. Although, I personally believe that an affair is the result of a marriage that is already suffering, there is no denying the seal-the-deal nature of straying. His one time infidelity, and subsequent confession, had plunged his entire family into turmoil. Divorce seems imminent.
This dear reader is the part where you start to squirm. While listening to the Mr. describe the misery of the entire family, I said if an affair is over and done, maybe it would be best if the cheated spouse never knew. I was thinking of the poor soul who was unaware that the marriage bed had been soiled, so to speak. I talked of sparing the loved one pain and living with the bone crushing guilt in silence. Vowing and becoming a better spouse with a renewed marriage. Happily ever after.
Not so for Mr. Red Hot. He nearly drove right off the road while listening to my meandering justification of keeping mum on an infidelity. Even after adding the following caveats:
1. Must have been a one time encounter.
2. Must have been purely physical. No “But I was in love!” business.
3. Must not have been public knowledge.
4. Must not have resulted in creation of human life.
5. Must have ended amicably and most important, mutually.
6. I couldn’t think of anymore. However, I reserved the right to add in defense of argument.
Mr. Red Hot was furious. A state he rarely attains without my help. 
He began a rapid fire assassination of my feeble reasons for not sharing. This was vital information I was withholding here. (“Hypothetically!” I interjected.) Of course, one would tell. There was no choice. Fess up. Pay for play. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime and lot’s of other tired cliches. Point taken. Adultery is a deal breaker.
Now before you leave the computer to go hunt for stones to throw, I would like to remind everyone that this was an offhand comment made while chewing gum and looking out the window sale signs on storefronts. (Thinking before I speak is not exactly this Hot Momma’s strong suit.) Still, the voracity of Mr. Red Hot’s condemnation surprised me. So, I am going to open up a can of worms here by asking for your takes on withholding information about an affair.
A few ground rules: Adultery is bad. Don’t even try to defend it because I will just delete those comments. After all this is my blog. :) Don’t personally attack anyone. It’s just for fun.
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