It’s Coming

It’s coming people.  Valentine’s Day.  The most disturbing and disappointing of all holidays.  If you are a super romantic spouse, if you live for Valentine’s Day, if you cannot understand why everyone doesn’t embrace this day as slightly less important than Christmas with the family- you are excused from reading any further. Go, please, spread you good cheer and good will elsewhere! :)

Surprised to hear a Red Hot Momma dissing V-Day?

Let me tell you something.  Valentine’s Day is a great idea, in theory.  Take an official time out of our busy, less than romantic lives to tell others we love them.  Show in deeds, not just words, that we care about each other. Do something that makes our spouses sit down and say “Yes.  There it is! The reason I wanted to get married to this person in the first place!”

The reality is far more grim.  More hard feelings and strife results from this holiday than any other! Especially with in the confines of Holy Matrimony.  Okay, I admit that I don’t have any hard data to back that up.  But I have lots of experiential data that proves this day is a disaster waiting to happen.  And it happens every year! 

Now before I go all Chicken Little on you, I have to say that not every couple is Valentine’s Day impaired.  There are many, many of you out there.  God bless your souls! Because I occasionally hear stories about you all.  Usually just before I flip the channel or change the radio station.  Kidding! 

I am going to go out on a limb and say that most of us are VD Impaired.  Not because we want to be handicapped in this area.  We just are. We have tried.  Disappointed or spouses and ourselves so thoroughly, that we just want to hide under the covers until the day passes.  So, if you have set out to woo your spouse and have failed, miserably, time and time again-  I say loudly to you “Welcome Friend”. 

I am the first to admit that I have held too high expectations for my spouse.  And myself.  I have believed the lie that if we really love one another, we will have a fairy tale day! ( Darn it! ) Pressure! Pressure!  Whisk your spouse off to an exotic island.  Cover the bedroom in rose petals.  Drop thirty five pounds and slither into some bizarre looking lingerie. And on and on….

I have spent many hours pouring over sugary sweet cards that ended up on his dresser, after a quick perusal.  He has brought me candy that I didn’t need, flowers that died almost as soon as they were transported through our front door.  We have waited two hours in frigid temps to dine out because, after all, it’s Valentine’s Day!  

Perhaps Mr. Red Hot’s fear and dread of the day has spread to me.  But before we write off my loathing of the execution of this holiday, I humbly ask how many disaster stories do you personally have? If you don’t have any, just ask around.  “What was your worst Valentine’s Day ever?’  I am going to bet that you will barely get the words out before the cringe worthy answer is blasted back at you. 

A note of sympathy.  I feel extremely sorry for anyone who is single AND “currently looking” on VD.  It is comparable to being forced to wear a scarlet “S” to denote that you, indeed, are un-coupled.  To be single on the most romantic day of the year is simply dreadful by the Hallmark standard.  “Here you go.  Poor thing.  Take your hump and limp up to the bell tower with the rest of the unfortunate souls…”.  The pressure and expectation is just ridiculous.  It is just a day on the calendar.  Not a judgement of character.  I suggest ignoring the hoop la.  Or better yet do something nice for yourself.

Well.  I suppose I will get off my soap box now.  I have work to do and of course, Valentine’s cards to buy. :)

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11 Responses to “It’s Coming”

  1. February 9, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    It’s a day that makes me very nervous.It’s so hard to get it right after you’ve been married over 25 years. My wife is buying her own present this year — not especially romantic, but practical.

  2. February 9, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Valentines day is tough for me.

    I don’t have any money to spend on it. None.

    I try to be romantic and think of creative things that don’t cost a penny to do for my wife all year long. Coming up with something new, special, Valentines Day worthy and free on February 14th is tough.

    I can’t afford even to buy a card. No going out for dinner, no flowers, no chocolates, no stuffed toys, nothing that costs money in fact!

    Any ideas anyone?

  3. 3 freetolive
    February 9, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    Peter P- you are a fantastic husband. Regardless of the day. Your wife knows how lucky she is already but I do have a few free ideas:

    1. Clean out and wash her car. I can’t remember if you two have kids but esp. appreciated then. In fact, I think that is what I will do for my husband!!! Thanks!

    2. Acrostic poetry! Here is a link just in case you need a little inspiration.


    3. Indulgence Night- Rub her feet, back, head for as long as she wants. Read out loud to her.

    4. Rehearse “your” story. The first time you knew you loved her.

    5. Organize something that would make her life easier or your home cleaner. Something she has been putting off doing.

    6. Write her a fairytale. You be the knight that pursues her to the very end. (YOU are a great writer and should definetly use your talents for this one!)

  4. February 10, 2009 at 6:33 am

    Forgive me if this is a little obvious, but shouldn’t we all wish to be VD Impaired? I mean, I for one would hate to be Venereal Disease Enabled. Wouldn’t you?

  5. February 10, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Jared–that’s kind of what crossed my mind.
    Freetolive–I’m laughing that you have a hard time with ideas for your spouse but can come up with 6 ideas for the rest of us. I’d use one of them if I were you. Thanks for making me smile.

  6. 6 Sharla
    February 10, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    I have hated Valentine’s Day from the very time that Thomas bought me lingerie for our first VD as a married couple. He figured out real quick that was a mistake. Several years ago, I decided to put an end to his misery of figuring out what to do for Valentine’s Day. I wanted to make it fun for us and our kids. So every year, I prepare (or get take out) our kids favorite foods with a fun dessert and we dine by candlelight and decorations – just the four of us. Then we play Valentine’s BINGO with cool Dollar Store prizes to win. We just hang out and have a good time and celebrate our love for each other as family. We look forward to it every year.

  7. 7 freetolive
    February 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Jared- lol, I did think of that when I was writing this post.

    Laura- I know! You are so right. I think I will go with clean out nasty truck idea.

    Sharla- Sometime I need to know exactly what this lingerie looked like. This is the second time it has come up, which leads me to believe it must have been super trashy! :)

  8. February 10, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Freetolive – Great ideas. I’ve done some of them recently but others I had never thought of before. You must be American, only an American would suggest cleaning out ‘her’ car! :-) We have one car and we share that with another family who live on our property. I could clean it out though. That’s not a bad idea! I like the acrostic thing. I have done that kind of thing unsuccessfully in the past but I could try again. The whole Knight in shining armor thing is interesting too. I don’t know why you think I’ma great writer but it could be fun trying to write something like that. I’ll have to try to find some inspiration! I try to do one thing a week. Coming up with 52 original ideas a year is pretty tough!

    Jared – I was going to use the VD abbreviation in my comment but I couldn’t for exactly that reason.

    Laura – good point!

    Sharla – you’ve got us all wondering about the lingerie now!

  9. February 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    I went for the fairytale.

    I’m up to 3000 words now. it’s going to take her a while to read!

  10. 10 freetolive
    February 13, 2009 at 3:28 am

    Peter P. -How romantic!! I am so impressed. Let us know how it goes!

  11. February 13, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    It ended up at around 4700 words.

    We are celebrating Valentines day today because tomorrow is going to be a busy day and she has to work the night shift.

    I wrote the story to include the people she will be working with so she can take it tomorrow night and show them.

    She loved it. She thinks I should write another one… but I don’t think I have another book in me!

    Thanks for the idea!


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